Beowulf and Godsylla


Beowulf ond Godsylla

Meanehwæl, baccat meaddehæle, monstær lurccen;
Fulle few too many drincce, hie luccen for fyht.
Ðen Hreorfneorhtðhrw, son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,
Æsccen æwful jeork to steop outsyd. Þhud! Bashe! Crasch! Beoom! Ðe bigge gye
Eallum his bon brak, byt his nose offe;
Wicced Godsylla wæld on his asse.
Monstær moppe fleor wyþ eallum men in hælle.
Beowulf in bacceroome fonecall bamaccen wæs;
Hearen sond of ruccus sæd, "Hwæt ðe helle?"
Graben sheold strang ond swich-blæd scharp
Stond feorth to fyht ðe grimlic foe. "Me," Godsylla sæd, "mac ðe minsemete."
Heoro cwyc geten heold wiþ fæmed half-nelson
Ond flyng him lic frisbe bac to fen
Beowulf belly up to meaddehæle bar,
Sæd, "Ne foe beaten mie færsom cung-fu."
Eorderen cocca-cohla yce-coeld, ðe reol þyng.

Beowulf and Godsylla

Meanwhile, back at mead-hall, (the) monster lurked;
Full of few too many drinks, he lurked for (a)  fight.
Then Hreorfneorhtðhrw, son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,
Asked (the)  awful jerk to step outside. Thud! Bash! Crash! Boom! The Big guy
All of his bones break (broke?), bit his nose off;
Winced Godsylla wailed on his ass.
Monster mopped (the) floor with all men in (the)  hall.
Beowulf in backroom phone call back home was;
Hear the sound of ruckus say "What the hell"
Grab the shield strong and switch blade sharp.
Stand forth to fight the grim like foe. "Me," Godsylla said, "make the mince meat."
Hero quick getting held framed half-nelson.
And flying him like a Frisbee back and forth.
Beowulf belly up to the mead-hall bar,
Said,"No foe beaten my fearsome kong-fu."
Ordering a coca-cola ice cold, the real thing.

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